So, this will be a stream of thoughts I am sure. Nothing about Ryan other than she is such a piece of work right now, gotta love the beginning of those toddler years! (did you really think I could blog and entire post without talking about her :-).
This is more from my heart. I learned, no learn is no the right word. I finally realized a horrible and somewhat embarrasing thing about myself today....I have idols, big idols that are suffocating my time, mind and heart. Matthew and I love to look at houses. At first, this was simply fun but as we are closer to finishing up our training (finally) we realized that one day we might actually be able to get another home - larger, nicer, better location, etc. Somewhere over the last few months this fun hobby has become an obession to us. We look EVERYDAY. We find ones, talk about how we could afford it, would we like it, etc. A few days ago we found what looks like a dream home to us. It is older, with lots of charm but has been completely renovated and is in a wonderful location. AND, it is in a price range we most definitely will be able to afford (when we both are out and working, but not quite yet). However, because it was so perfect, we decided to go look at it this morning. BIG MISTAKE!!!!! We loved it, of course. We knew we would. We also knew it would be completely and utterly insane for us to even think about purchasing it right now. But, we went any ways.
It was after we had seen the house that my/our obession hit me in the face full force. This is consuming most of our waking ours, together and apart. It is an idol and I am so ashamed and heartbroken we have let it come this far. Matthew and I both realized it at the same time and were completely humbled. Our God has blessed us in so many ways, yet we are alwasy looking for more. Always wanting bigger, prettier things. Don't get me wrong...wanting and new, bigger house is completely fine, as long as it doesn't consume who you are. I praise Him so much that he protected us and opened our eyes and hearts to where we were headed if we didn't take a good look at what we have become.
So, Matthew and Ryan, this is my committment: I promise from now on to take better notice of my priorities. I promise to daily strive to always keep them in this order: God, Matthew, Ryan and then everything else. I promise to no longer look at houses until God shows me it is time and ok for my mind and heart to go there again. I love you both so much and am so enormously thankful for the life God has given us a family. I am so excited for what is in store for us!!
(I couldn't resist....I had to post a pic of the munchkin)