Forever Ingrained

Ingrained: firmly fixed, deeply rooted

That is how many of us remember September 11, 2001. I have never written about that day, what I was doing, how I felt, etc. You see, I'm one of those girls who likes to move on. I like to feel, be changed or influenced, and then move on - sometimes forgetting the lesson. These are usually the lessons that are hard, painful, etc. What can I say? I'm weak like that.

Ten years later, I feel like it is time. There have been so many TV programs on recounting the events making that day come flooding back. You turn on the radio and someone is talking about it. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with remembering but like I said, I like to move on :-). I feel so selfish but please realize my reason for feeling that way is simply because of the pain and horror I remember about that day, and I wasn't anywhere near New York or DC. I didn't know anyone in the Twin Towers or the Pentagon. But I am American and those people were God's children, all of them.

In case an of you didn't know, I was somewhat of a dork in college. Not the kind that dresses with their pants pulled up high and being too short with thick glasses, but the kind that studied....a lot! I was a girl with a goal and that goal required me to spend countless hours in the library. At the time, I was attending a small liberal arts college in SW Virginia.

My morning, Sept 11, 2001.

6am - up, quick run

645 - quick shower, dressed

730am - arrived in the library for about 90mins of hardcore studying before my first class (dork, I know, I warned you)

Somewhere between 845-855am - told by a friend a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I though, what? That's crazy. Stupidly, I also thought "How does someone miss the Twin Towers?". 

Roughly 855-9am - I walked rather quickly back to my dorm room. For whatever reason, I had a sinking feeling.

Apprx 905am (VERY small school) - Open the door to my dorm room, see my roommate standing in front our tiny TV. I look up just as the 2nd plane crashes into the South Tower. We both gasped. My roommate, whom I love, said some choice words and I simply drop my bags and stare. I couldn't believe what I had just seen! I remember looking at her and saying, "What the heck is going on?"
I distinctly remember hearing girls in our dorm crying, screaming and carrying on. Our door was still open. I hadn't even thought about closing it. 

The times get a little fussy from here on out but I specifically remember looking at our clock at 910am and all I could think about was my family.

Roughly 915am - My phone rings and my dad is on the other line asking if I'm ok. Hearing his voice, I start crying. While on the phone, President Bush comes on the TV and everything goes silent. That's when we heard words that would change our lives and our country forever....Terrorist Attack. That's when the crying, screams and gasps occurred again.

Classes were canceled for the day but I distinctly remember going to the science building, searing for anything to distract my mind. But everyone was huddled in their room, traveling home to their loved ones (assuming they were close enough to drive).

The rest of the day the TV was on everywhere you went. Scenes from Ground Zero were haunting, once the ash and haze settled. The pictures of the fireman and service workers inspiring.

So, even though I am a girl who likes to "move on", that day has forever been ingrained in my mind and heart. I couldn't be happier that is the case. I am proud to live in this country with people who ultimately, I believe, want good for others. We showed that as Americans on 9.11 and the days that followed. I hope, as a nation, we are forever inspired and hold that day close enough that it betters us but doesn't make us bitter.  I pray for continued peace for all those who lost loved ones that day. I can't imagine how this weekend must feel for you.

Forever Ingrained. That's the best way I can sum up my thoughts about tomorrow.

All is Grace,
Bethany