All Smiles

I haven't posted in a some time because I have been enjoying every minute of my little girl and my last full days at home. I start back work tomorrow and don't really know how I feel about it. Overall, I am sad...I am going to miss Ryan so very much. She is so much fun! She is smiling all of the time (I tried to upload a video of her smiling but it is currently too big...hopefully will be up on the blog soon). I also included some great smile pictures. I'm convinced she gets prettier everyday. I also completely understand the saying, "you fall more in love with them everyday." :-) I am so thankful we found a nanny whom we adore and trust. Going back to work is hard enough but knowing she is good hands helps tremendously.

Over the past 6 weeks God has also reminded me he created me for another purpose other than wife and mother, doctor. I do miss working and I truly love what I am learning to do. Now that I am a mother, it completely changes my heart as a pediatrician, I hope for the better. However, I am not excited about the year to come and how much it will take me away from Matthew and Ryan. Prayers are greatly appreciated tomorrow and for the months ahead!

Peaceful sleep

Ryan's first peaceful nap after her birth

I just spent the last hour watching Ryan fight sleep. I mean really fight! She tossed and turned, spit out her pacifier, grunted and anything else but fall asleep. She would get distracted by a dark or bright object, stare at it for a while then begin fighting to keep her eyes open. She would then drift off for a few minutes and then suddenly jolt herself awake and become distracted again. Sometimes she would realize her her pacifier had fallen out and immediately begin screaming :-).


Finally, over an hour later, she is fast asleep :-) Now, she looks so peaceful, happy even. Even better for mom, after a good nap she wakes up the happiest baby! She stretches (often times for minutes on end :-), smiles and is wide awake ready for the next big adventure, which is usually bottle versus breastfeeding!



So, I'm going to ramble a little. You can stop reading here and simply enjoy all the beautiful peaceful pictures of my little one or indulge me :-) As I was watching Ryan fight sleep and then peacefully give into it, I thought about how I often do that with God. Think about it...all God wants is what is best for us. I mean really, he sent His Son to die for us so we had hope, eternal hope that is so much bigger than this world (often crappy world) we live in now. He tells us he has "plans to prosper, not harm...to give us hope and a future", but how often do I fight? I either ignore him (mostly because I am scared) or get distracted by something this world puts in front of me when I know only His plan can give me true peace and rest. God has such wonderful plans for all of us. Look at these precious pictures...how could he create something so perfect and us think otherwise? I'm going to try and remember this truth more often. I'm glad I now have a reminder in my little girl. Hopefully I will not be afraid/ignore/get distracted from His plans for my life and the life of my family.